I love love love photos. They are an easy way to enjoy a memory. There is nothing better than an evening with a glass of wine and the photo albums out. What I notice however is I am hardly ever in the photos, plus it I am it’s some kind of unflattering selfie!!!! My aim for the future is to ask for more photos with me in. As much as I love seeing my husband with my kids, I am equally as important and want to be celebrated too!!!!
Having a baby is a most wonderful thing. Bringing in New life, creating a baby, loving that baby and looking after them. But who is looking after you??
Many of us have sleepless nights through baby being awake, worry over baby, insomnia, etc. Many of us don’t have time to eat properly or make sure we are drinking enough. It’s so hard trying to shower, wash your hair, dare I say even put on make up!!
What you need to remember however, is that baby needs a healthy carer looking after them. They need you well, and happy. I know this is hard, but as parents we need to try to remember to look after ourselves as well.
There are many ways we can do this. We can ask for help from family, friends, medical staff and so on. We can prioritise. This means, it does not matter if the house is a bit messy. It does not matter if you cook a 3 course dinner. It does not matter if you decide to have a pyjama day. We can accept help. We can cuddle our baby to sleep and just chill with the telly on. We can eat that huge chocolate bar. We can eat a microwave meal.
Sometimes we need to stop and just think, what can I do to make my life a little easier right now.
I personally am super lucky and have my mum up the road who helps me lots. I internet shop so I don’t have to worry about my baby kicking off in the supermarket. I buy quite a few ready made meals. I don’t stress if my house is messy. I go to bed at the moment when my children do to ensure I get some sleep. I always make sure I have something yummy in the house to eat and. Most importantly I try to give myself 5 minutes a day when i am on my own (normally when I’m on the loo) and I just breathe. I close my eyes and calm my breathing. I clear my head and re-energise. Without that 5 minutes sometimes I feel as though I may explode. But if I don’t look after myself, I know I won’t be able to look after my children properly.
What do you do to look after yourself? Xxxx
Tonight as i was putting my son to bed he started playing me up. Crying to be allowed to crawl.about and do as he pleased. I wanted him to go to sleep as quickly as I could so I could do some admin, then go on my mum’s night out with some of the mum’s in the street. I then paused and watched what my son was doing as I stared, he was smiling looking up to the star projector and pointing . He was obviously wanting to share this moment with me, and I hadn’t noticed as I had my own agenda on my mind. Sometimes as parents we just need to stop, and breathe in our child. Share those little moments and slow down. Babies arnt babies for long so we need to cherish as many moments as we can. Explore the world with them, enjoy it and realise that every day as a baby, they are embarking on a new adventure learning about the world that is around them.
Days can be very hectic. Doing the washing, preparing meals, dealing with other children, general day to day stuff. Sometimes it’s hard to find time to just focus on yourself and baby, as when you do get a moment you might just need to zone out and not want to focus on anything.
Adding baby massage into your routine gives you that focus time between the two of you (or 3 or more if multiple births!). With massage you are solely focused on each other. You are communicating, trusting and bonding. Eye contact is being made, along with exchange of smells. You are communicating through your voice with words and song. You are increasing your oxytocin levels through touch. You are breathing in each other’s love. Focusing on the moment.
It’s time to focus, its time to massage.
At some point during your baby massage course your baby may possibly cry. Why, you may ask. Well the answer is quite simple. The reason is because, they are babies. Just because you have chosen to massage your baby at 10am does not necessarily mean that is the time your baby wants a massage. We have to read their cues, and that is why we always ask their permission. We are looking to see if they are giving us positive signs such as eye contact, smiling, positive body language and deep belly breathing. If the baby is crying, trying to roll away, not giving eye contact, then maybe try a different time for massage.
They may cry because they are hungry, tired, or they are finding the strokes too stimulating, so you may have to shorten the amount of time you spend massaging or change the pressure or speed of your strokes.
They may cry because they want to change position or just fancy a cuddle instead.
They may cry because it’s all unfamiliar what is happening to them. If this is the case; reassure them, smile, talk and cuddle. Over time they will get used to it.
Of course the majority of the time your baby will be loving baby massage and will enjoy the bonding with you, the beautiful relaxing feel and the effects the massage has on their body.
But I just want you to please remember. If your baby cries, it does not mean that they dislike massage. It’s just that there is another need that may need to be met first. Other parents in the group will not be annoyed as we are all in this together. We are all facing the same challenges, they just may be at different stages. Your baby will lead your own personal massage journey. Go with what baby needs. Relax, enjoy and do not worry if they cry. As long as you learn the skills of baby massage to take home with you and you enjoy the class, you will have the skills for life on how to massage your little one xxxx